Hi friends / random people from my instagram.... ok so weirdly, my blog got 111 views on Monday and now 40 today??? I wonder if anyone actually reads my post or if they just idk why else would you look at my blog, there's nothing else on here besides my ramblings.
Life is unexciting. I spend my days sleeping, eating, petting Zoey, and going to class. I had my first midterm today in this terrible class I have to take. It was hard. I don't think I did very well. I have another midterm next week, this one should be easier because the professor is super nice. I feel bad for him because his classes are so boring and people stop coming so there's like no one here and definitely less and less people every class. It makes me sad, so I sit here and don't pay attention for him. I made some really, really good spaghetti last night. I've never cooked meat but I did it last night and it was so good, used some spices and shit to give it some flavor. Made some damn good sketti, and garlic bread. My mom was like did you eat with someone? Haha no. Unless Zoey counts. I probably talk to my dog more than I talk to humans. I'M GOING TO SEE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS NEXT WEEK OOOOOOHHHHH MMMMYYYY GGGGGGGOOOOODDDDDDDD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's my dream come true.
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Well, after a full month of indulging in all of the precious things America has to offer, I feel I can finally sit down and reflect. I hadn't given much thought to what I would do with this blog after I returned home. Considering I'm not traveling anymore, there's not much to tell and not much for me to show you. I have updated my Flickr (something that I've been meaning to do for months), I will continue to post worthy photography shots of mine on there, but as far as this blog.. I don't know. I would like to still write about my experiences in my life and I guess I can do just that. When the time comes and I feel like I've had an experience worthy of writing about, I will come here to tell my story. As for updates on my travels, I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon except maybe LA to eat some Qdoba or something. However, spring break will be here before I know it and I'll want to do something then. Probably go to Yosemite and some other places in California. It seems there are still people who look at this blog, so in that case, I update every now and then.
I guess some of you may be wondering how I am doing. I can't even begin to describe the feelings I've felt throughout this whole journey. From being so terrified to leave to not wanting to leave then to wanting to quit in the middle and then being sad and happy to go back home. It was interesting coming back to the United States after spending so many months in a foreign country. I mean just looking and feeling the money again was a weird thing for me. Driving for the first time in 8 months was like WHOA. I got in the car and I was like what do I do first?!!???! Not really, but kind of. I wasn't as bad as I thought I was going to be though. Seeing my dog was the most amazing thing in the world. Just so much genuine happiness and love in that moment. She was crying and kissing me because she was so happy to see me then nibbling too because she was mad at me for having left. She's lying next to me on my bed right now probably dreaming about chasing squirrels or something. I am so happy to be back with her, you have no idea. When I first got back, I was spending like almost every day with my best friend. We cried when we saw each other at the airport, it was cute and weird. I've been eating In n Out a ridiculous amount and just eating out in general a lot. I went to the store and bought 2% milk and chugged a whole damn glass or two of that stuff. The milk in Spain does not taste the same and I love milk so it was really liberating drinking that glass of milk. It felt so good. It tasted so good. Sharp cheddar cheese tasted amazing. Macaroni and cheese, oh my god. Cinnamon Toast Crunch AHHHHH forgot how much I loved every thing. I gained like 10 pounds this month lol. I'm focusing on school a lot which is good, but I don't have a job so I have a lot of free time (which I should spend studying) and I'm also super broke. I mean I have money for like necessary things but as myself, me, I have none of my own money. Living in Europe for 8 months sure does put a damper on your savings, oh wait, I didn't have any savings. All my income from Macy's... where did it go???? I'm kinda lonely right now. I don't have many friends here in San Diego. Kind of sadly realized that when I got back and it only mattered to like 3 people. It's ok though. I got Zoey. And a couple of people I can count on. I'm trying dating, but it's hard. I don't like it. I'm always getting attention from the wrong people. Like the ones I don't like are more interested than the one I like. Boooooo. Cuddling Zoey at night sometimes just isn't enough, ya know? I do miss Europe. I will say that. I miss Spain and I miss my friends there. I would like to go back but I don't know if it'd be to live there, probably just visit. All I know is I want to be in California for now, who knows what I will want in a year from now? Sidenote, it's really weird looking back at my Timehop from last year and seeing myself talk about moving to Europe for 8 months and now whoa it's over and here I am. Time works in mysterious ways. After a long eight months of being away from my friends and the people I love, I am both happy and sad to say I am finally coming home. It's been quite the adventure and I can't say I would trade it for anything in the world. Though there comes a time when all you want is to go home to a place you know where your loving friends and dog are. I've been so lucky to have this wonderful experience and I'm so grateful for all the friends I've made while being away and even more grateful for the friends that stayed in touch with me while I was gone. I've been on my own for the past eight months and after a while, it's easy to fell completely alone. I have loved and I have lost many people during this journey. The hardest part is meeting someone you feel like belongs in your life just to have to say goodbye again after only a few hours, days, weeks, or months together. That's been the hardest part of it all. Saying goodbye and not knowing when or if you will ever see each other again. I've cherished every single person I've met and every insignificant moment I shared with them. This endless process of connecting with people and then losing them leaves me with a sense of loneliness and sadness. It never gets easier, even when you prepare yourself for it. I've learned a lot about myself and others during my time away. Not everyone you meet is going to be the great person you hope they will be. Some people will take advantage of you, maybe just because you're from a different country. Some people will be overly excited by you, just because you speak a different language or look a different way. Some people will ignore you just because you don't speak the same language as them. Sometimes you'll meet a person that you feel like you've been meaning to meet your whole life. Like your paths crossed for a reason and you won't want to let this person go. It will be the easiest hello and the hardest goodbye. Your heart will ache. But you won't cry because it's over, you'll smile because it happened at all. I'm not sure that I'll necessarily miss Spain, but I will definitely miss the people I spent my time with while I was there. A lot of people have been asking me if I will move back one day and right now, I don't know. I'm ready to stay in California for a while. I need some consistency in my life after so much change. Which is a strange thing for me to say because I am the most fickle person I know. I crave change every few months. So who knows, maybe after I finish school, I'll want to leave again. But right now, I need to be in California. I need to be with my dog and my friends. I wish I could gather up everyone I've ever met / loved in my life and bring them all together to one place. Like a small little community of all my favorite people in my favorite place. Maybe some day when I'm rich.
To those of you who have followed my blog since the day I left, wow thank you. I honestly made this blog for myself, so that I can look back at it one day and remember all my great memories. So to know that people actually took time out of their day to read the silly things I write makes me really happy. I guess this was one way to stay connected with me without actually putting in any effort. I can honestly say I am a bit disappointed that no one wrote me, sent me a piece of mail, anything. I barely facetimed anyone despite them saying they would facetime me. It is really hard with the time difference but I'm a night owl. I remember some people being like yeah dude I'm gonna send you something!! So I'd check my mailbox always hoping I'd find something addressed to me and I never did. (Well, my mom sent me a birthday card on my birthday when I first moved, but that's the only thing I ever got). It's not that big of a deal, but I took time out of my life to sit down and write out a postcard and send it. I always tell myself not to expect too much from people and I don't, but I thought I'd get at least like one thing in the mail. There are also some "friends" that I haven't even talked to since I've been gone. I'm just popping up 8 months later like hey what's up, yeah I've been living in Europe for 8 months. Anyway. I'm sitting in the airport in Newark just waiting for my next flight to San Diego which is some tedious shit, wish I could just teleport there. Luckily, I slept through almost the whole 8 hour flight to Newark and I had 2 seats to myself. An hour and a half till my flight leaves, 6 hours until I land in San Diego, which means still about 8 hours until I can see my doggy... UGH!!!! THE WAIT HAS BEEN SO LONG. Wow. 2016 was one of the best years of my life, maybe even the best year of my life (so far). Despite the fact that my grandmother died, everything else was beyond amazing. I rang in the new year of 2016 in Lisbon, Portugal with a great group of friends. I fell deeply in love with the city and the people in it. I got three new tattoos, two of which are probably my favorite ones. I got a new piercing that I love. I mended some broken friendships and created new ones. I landed an internship in Lisbon, Portugal for the summer. I lived in Lisbon for 3 months and worked for two. I met some of the most incredible people while there. I turned 21 on an island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I traveled through the Portuguese countryside and saw some beautiful scenery. My mom, my aunt, and my mom's best friend came to Lisbon to visit me while I lived there and we had so much fun. Traveled through even more of Portugal and I fell even more in love with the country. I witnessed Portugal win the Eurocup and celebrated with all the beautiful people of Lisbon. I moved into a cute little studio near the castle in Lisbon and wrote almost every day and took pictures with my zoom lens. I met even more amazing people while playing Pokemon Go in Lisbon. I moved to Spain by myself and cried my first 2 days there and wondered what the hell I was doing there, wished I could just go home. I'm glad I sucked it up. I found a new place to live with an older woman who rents out her house to international students. I met an amazing lifelong friend, William. We've spent almost every day together since we met. It's weird when we don't see each other or we don't talk for a day. He's my best friend and I'm so so so happy I met him. He's a great guy. I'm going to miss him so much. We went to Granada with the Erasmus Student Network and had so much fun there. It's a beautiful city and La Alhambra is just amazing. Then we traveled to Valencia together and I took him on his first pub crawl (as well as my first, well besides New Year's Eve last year, but that didn't really count, it was more like a hostel crawl). As always, we enjoyed each other's company so much and never got tired of each other. He made a Thanksgiving meal for him and our friends at his apartment. We've spent every Thursday together going to get 2 for 1 burgers at a burger place in town. I didn't see him for the past 2 weeks because we were both traveling, but then we were both in Barcelona at the same time and I was so happy to see him!! He met my mom and we all had dinner together. Now I'm going to have to say goodbye and I might cry, but I know I will see him again, I just don't know when. My family came to Paris for Christmas and I got to fly there from Murcia to spend Christmas with them. I went in the Eiffel Tower, all the way to the top! I ice skated IN the Eiffel Tower with my sister and stepsister, so much fun. We went to the Palace of Versailles which is quite beautiful. The gardens are amazing. My mom and step dad didn't want to go because the ground was muddy, so my sister, step sister, and I went and frolicked around for like 30 minutes. I swear I've never bonded with them more than I did this trip. After Paris, we went to Madrid then took a train to Toledo which is a small city south of Madrid. So cute and beautiful, up in the mountains. From there, we went to Sevilla which wasn't that exciting. But we rented a car during one of our days there and had the best day ever. We drove to Ronda which is a small town in the mountains, then we drove through the mountains down this curvy little road to the Rock of Gibraltar. Coolest experience ever. It's actually not part of Spanish territoty, it belongs to the United Kingdom so we got to get our passports stamped! We went to the top of the rock in a cable car and there's a bunch of monkeys there. I was hanging out with a bunch of monkeys! It was wild and sooooo cool. I got some amazing photos (I really need to update my Flickr). We were all tired on the ride home and extremely hungry, so I played Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen and we turned it all the way up and all sang along. I swear I've never had that much fun with all of them in the past 16 years that my mom and stepdad have been together. I also told them the truth that I had picked up smoking cigarettes again, so I could go smoke every now and then and not have to quit cold turkey. I only smoked one or two a day, so now I think I'll be able to quit for real when I get back to the states. After Sevilla, we went to Barcelona and spent New Year's Eve together. It was kind of lame considering they didn't have a countdown haha, but fun nonetheless. Then they left and I already miss them. The month of December was one of my favorites of the year. I've had such an amazing life during 2016. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I met so many great people, I traveled to a bunch of new places, and I spent time with my family. Now it's 2017 and I'm going to graduate college! I can't wait to see what this year brings me. Cheers to 2016.
Where have I been? Not writing, I can tell you that. Well, I did write a 10 page paper in Spanish and now I have to write a 15 page one. That's fun. I was going to upload my Lisbon pictures... but never got around to it. I'm going to Paris on Tuesday to see my family there for Christmas. That's pretty great because this is like the first Christmas I've ever spent not in Kentucky. I'm really lucky though that I still get to be with my family. Then we're traveling through Spain to Madrid, Sevilla, some other places, Barcelona for New Year's Eve then they leave and I'm going to Madrid to see my friend from California!!! After that, I'm most likely going to Brussels, Amsterdam, and Berlin, maybe Prague, but probably not, it's expensive. Once I finish traveling, I'll be back in Murcia for a week or less AND THEN I'M OFF TO AMERICA. I'm so excited, I can't even begin to express how excited I am. I FINALLY GET TO SEE ZOEY. Reunited with my best friend, I can't freaking wait. And In n Out, oh how I have missed that place. Chick-Fil-A and their PICKLES. PICKLES. I love pickles and the pickles here are shit. AND DUDE, MAC N CHEESE!!!!!! Yes I know I could make my own, but it's not the same. They don't have Kraft nor Velveeta so just no. I was a Kraft lover my whole life, but had recently switched to Velveeta. Anyway, they also don't have shells, like macaroni is just non-existent. (Side note: they also don't have alfredo sauce, blasphemy). There's no shredded cheddar cheese, you gotta shred it yourself. And it's just 10x easier with Kraft or Velveeta. Can't wait for Mexican food either like Trujillo's ahhhh. K enough about food.
Lisbon was beautiful, as always, but it was especially beautiful because of all the Christmas decorations. I got to see Mia and her family which is always a delight, even more of a delight since they paid for my lunch. Went to my favorite pizza place and my favorite burger place. MMmmmm. Saw my friends at the mini mercado next to where I lived my first time there. Ohhh I went to the hookah bar that me and my boy have been to. I took my bff from Murcia (William) and his friend and they loved it. They tried a bunch of different Portuguese drinks and we smoked hookah with whiskey. William said it was his favorite night there :). I was sad to leave, I love that city and the people in it. I'm off to Lisbon tomorrrow morning!!!! I'm so excited, I love that city so much and it's gonna be so beautiful since it's December / almost Christmas! They'll have all the pretty Christmas lights up just like they did when I first went there a year ago! It's too bad I'll only be there for 5 days, but that's a goodish amount of time. I hope I get to see my friends and my favorite family ever which includes Mia and some of the SiPn fam <33. Ooooh and possibly Marta, I should message her. I'm gonna be so so so happy there, yay. And of course I get to spend the whole time with my boy, well, when he's not working lol.
Do you ever just get really sad and cry for like no reason at all? Maybe it's because I haven't cried in a couple of months and I'm prone to bottling up my emotions for a really long time, so every now and then they just spill out? I don't really have anything to be sad about like there's nothing that triggered this, it's just kind of a general sadness. Like I really really miss my dog and I hate not being with her and I just wish I could cuddle with her and walk her and have her lick my face until it's soaking wet with her slobber. Maybe it's because I keep dreaming about being back home and I have a lot of dreams of being with Zoey, so it's always super disappointing when I wake up and realize I still have 2 more months before I can see her. I also really miss my grandma and I have these terrible dreams where she's still alive and it fucking sucks because then I wake up and remember she's not here and she never will be again. Like fuck why does my brain do this to me? I have dreams with her in them at least once a week. I just wish I could call her and tell her I love her one last time. She was so sick at the end that I never got the chance. It's been 7 months since she passed, but shit it still hurts.
This weekend was great! My friend and I went to Valencia for the weekend. We left Murcia on Friday evening and got to Valencia around 8, checked into our hostel, got some dinner, then looked for the nightlife. We were really tired because we went out the night before in Murcia, so we didn't stay out too long on Friday night. Buuut we went into a bar that was having a Captain Morgan promo where if you buy a rum and coke, you get a free gift. We both got Captain Morgan t-shirts so that was pretty cool and a light up bracelet. On Saturday, we got up pretty early because we were in a hostel dorm room with 12 other people and a lot of sunlight, not the best place to sleep in. We walked around the city for a while and went to the Central Mercado, one of the first gates into the city, the Botanical Gardens where there were a bunch of kitty cats roaming around. One of them was super sweet and kept rubbing against me, I loved it. We took a nap in the middle of the day so we could rally that night. I wanted to go down the to "river" (it doesn't have water in it, it's just a huge long strip of park and stuff). We walked to this playground / sculpture thing that is super awesome, it's called Parque Gulliver, check it out if you're ever in Valencia, so much fun. Then we went to where the museum of sciences and art and the aquarium thing is, we didn't go inside because it's expensive but the outside is pretty damn beautiful. (I explained this in chronological order with the pictures, by the way). We had dinner at an Italian place that had ALFREDO, I haven't found any pasta with alfredo sauce since I've been in Europe. It was amazing. Then we went to a pub crawl !!! It was both of our first pub crawls so it was dope. Went to like 4 different bars, free shot at each one. Then we got on a party bus which was awesome and got a shot on it, went to a sick ass club. There was a room upstairs with techno and it was so dope. Got back to the hostel at like 9 am, slept for 2 hours then checked out of the hostel. I was a little hungover and tired so we just chilled in a park and smoked and listened to music while waiting for our ride back to Murcia. My friend took this really good photo of me being super happy hanging in Valencia.
Well. Donald Trump is our next president. Wow. I thought his campaign was a joke when I first heard he was running, but it kept just getting more real and real. Not that his opponent, Hillary Clinton, was any less of a joke. I don't like either of them and I still don't know which one is the lesser of two evils. Then again, I actually know nothing about politics. I know nothing about Hillary and I know nothing about Trump. However, I do know that Trump is a business man, he's not a politician like shitty Hillary and for the first time, we have someone who isn't a politician as a president. This could be great. I mean, yeah, it could be horrible, as well. And yes ok maybe Trump is a racist, homophobic douchebag, but what will that change? Do you really think Congress would let him do anything to change the rights that the LGBT community has earned? I think a lot of people forget that Congress has the most say in what happens, not the president. I'm not saying that I support Trump, I'm just saying that our country has come a long way and there's no way one man can screw it up that much in only a 4 year period. SO I think everyone just needs to take a chill pill and stay optimistic. We still have 2 and a half months with Obama, so no need to panic quite yet.
My poor pup at home isn't doing so well. She's got a UTI which costs me $415 just for the test and now another $175 for the antibiotics. She's been peeing blood and the vet thinks she could possibly have crystals or stones in her bladder. If the antibiotics don't work and she continues to pee blood, then it's probably crystals. If it's crystals, it shouldn't be that hard to treat, but she would need an X-ray or an ultrasound. If it's stone, she would probably need surgery. I've been reading online and it says average costs is around $1000. I don't know what to do.. I can't afford that. I'm a college student who has been studying abroad for the past 6 months and I have absolutely no money. I made $1000 from my internship in the summer, but that's obviously gone. The only money I have now is money to cover my costs of living. I got Zoey for free and I guess this is why, she has a bunch of underlying health issues, apparently. I have no source of income right now and I won't again until maybe February. I didn't want to get a job in my last semester of university, but now I'll probably have to. I'm like do I set up a gofundme for my dog?? No one would give me money for her. I mean everyone loves her, but like not that much. My mom told me when I got her that she wouldn't help me pay for anything for her. She also told me I shouldn't have gotten a dog, so I doubt she'd be willing to help. I don't understand why all this shit costs so much money, it's ridiculous. I guess for now, I'll pray that it's just a UTI and we'll check back in a week. I hate vets, they are evil money sucking people.
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Maddie Lang
Dreamer. Adventurer. Wallflower. Lover. Fighter. Kentuckian / Californian. Finding my purpose in the world. Archives
February 2020
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