As I lay in bed alone for what felt like the millionth time this month, a feeling of inadequacy swept over me. I'm constantly wondering if I will ever be enough. Will someone ever be able to love me with all of my flaws, my messy, dark past, the demons that I hide deep within? I just want to give my all to someone, but it's almost as if no one wants it. Will anyone ever be able to accept me and all of my flaws, my imperfections? Accept me for who I am including the good and the bad? There's nothing I want more than to be in love, completely and madly in love. Where the only thing I want is him and the only thing he wants is me. Always on each other's minds. Only wanting to be with each other. I keep falling for people that don't fall for me. Stuck in an endless loop of having my heart broken. Why can't I just find someone to love me as much as I love them? I'm ready to give up. I hate love. I hate having crushes. I hate feelings. I just want to be happy and in love. Is that too much to fucking ask for? I'm so alone and nothing feels like home.
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Maddie Lang
Dreamer. Adventurer. Wallflower. Lover. Fighter. Kentuckian / Californian. Finding my purpose in the world. Archives
February 2020
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